2. Is that a tool, or a toy?
I don’t know about yours, but my kids are always messing with stuff they ought not be messing with. So we have this rule to help little kids (and big kids who need reminding) learn to distinguish between things that should be played with and things that should just be used for their intended purpose.
So . . . Scissors: okay for cutting paper. Not okay for putting in your mouth to make your cheeks poke out funny. Oven mitt: okay for moving a hot pan. Not okay for having a puppet show. Rubber mulch: okay for walking on, or falling upon from a great height. Not okay for filling your pockets or winging at your sister.
3. Don’t look at me when you’re talking to him.
This one is just tattling, disguised as not tattling.
We have a family rule that before you come to tell mom or dad, you must take up the issue with the person with whom you are having a problem. Or, if you see someone breaking a family rule, you’re to remind him and give him a chance to stop before you involve mom and dad.
But, unfortunately, that rule necessitated this rule, because a lot of the “reminders” ended up being shouted right past the offender, right to me.
4. What do we say when someone helps us? (thank you, not: I WANNA DO IT!)
This one has always been directed mostly at the one to three year old set. But I currently have a seven year old who is terribly offended at assistance of any kind and still needs reminders.
It is a fact of life that toddlers need help for many, many things. But most of them do NOT want that help. My toddlers all want to “do it aself.” That’s great. I love that. I’m a huge fan of encouraging independence, even in toddlers. But sometimes we just need the hand washing or unbuckling to happen this decade and there will need to be help. So, when the shrieking begins, I remind them of the preferred response.
5. Three times is the limit, for singin’ stuff, sayin’ stuff, and doin’ stuff.
Much like whoever makes The Fast and the Furious movies, my kids believe that if something was good once, it will be good fifteen times. But, I think WE can agree that that just isn’t true. Three times is plenty for that novelty song about a duck at a lemonade stand or that knock knock joke.
6. Unless it’s dangerous or destructive, you’re just tattling.
That’s two anti-tattling rules in this list. But, MAN do I hate tattling. So, there ya go.
Basically our rule is that the kids should make every effort to handle things amongst themselves. They are Team Kid and we are Team Grown Up, and they should be trying to take care of each other, and address problems between members of their team without involving us.
However, if it’s dangerous or destructive, I want to know about it.
7. No. No screaming.
My formerly Sweetest Baby in the Universe has become a Regular Old Toddler, so this rule is in high rotation around here. I can’t abide shrieking. I just can. not. So, we don’t allow shrieks of anger or frustration or glee. You can BE angry or frustrated or gleeful, you just can’t scream about it.
So, if there is screaming, there is one warning, then there is a trip to the corner or the crib, depending on how old you are. It’s pretty effective . . . eventually. Even with really stubborn kids.
And that’s all for today. But don’t worry, there’s at least one more post where this one came from.
Update! The rest of the rules can be found in this post.
And, by popular demand, the Tierney Family Rules are now available in the Catholic All Year Digital Shop, as . . .