I Interviewed a Baby

by | May 22, 2014 | Tierneys Unmasked | 15 comments

While we’re out of town, I thought you might like to get to know the family a little better.

Here’s interview number eight: the five month old baby, Lulu.

Hi Lulu, it’s me, your mom. I’ve been doing this series of interviews with the family, and I was wondering if you would be willing to grant me an interview?
I don’t know what that is.

It’s just me asking you some questions and you answering them. Do you have time for that?
Let me just take a quick peek at my schedule. . . . Yes, yes I do. Mostly the only thing I have planned for today is to grin adoringly at you. Then later, I’m going to take a nap.

You do smile a lot. Why do you think that is?
I’m not sure mom. I’ve just got that joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart, ya know?
Is there anything that upsets you?
Nothing I can think of. Oh, no, wait. I remember now. It’s you putting me down. That upsets me. Just thinking about it is kind of upsetting me right now.
Okay, okay, don’t let’s get worked up. I’m holding you right now aren’t I?
Oh, yes. You certainly are. That’s what I like.

Your physique is much admired around here. Your very chubby legs are especially commented upon. What do you do to keep yourself in this kind of shape?
Well Mom, I think the main thing is that I try to eat for six or eight hours every day. That really helps keep those little rolls all the folks seem to like so much. 
That sounds like a great tip. What about your exercise routine?
You do need to be careful about exercise if you want to keep the second and third chins, which, of course, I do. So, mostly, I have you carry me around. But, I do like to keep my core strong by doing a near constant sit-up anytime you put me down.

Yes, I’ve noticed that you do that.
It also helps me keep an eye on you. We can’t have you wandering off.
No, certainly, we can’t have that.

Any other exercises you like?
Smiling, for sure. Some people say that frowning uses more muscles than smiling. But those people haven’t smiled like I do. It uses my whole face. It’s quite a workout.

What types of things do you like to eat?
I’m just a regular baby. I like to drink milk. But, recently, I’ve also found my toes, and they’re also pretty great.
You also have really terrific hair. Come to think of it, Jenny of Mama Needs Coffee and Haley of Carrots for Michaelmas ALSO have babies with really terrific hair. Why do the babies of mom bloggers have such great hair?
I know the answer to that question Mom, but I’m just right in the middle of this toes thing right now.

And it makes it hard to talk.

I can see that. And they certainly do look tasty. Is there anything else you’d like to add?
No. Nothing except that I think you’re just the super-swellest, most amazingly terrific human being I’ve ever met. I mean it. Ever.
Well, thank you Lulu. That’s awfully sweet. Of course, you haven’t met all that many other people.
Yes, I suppose that’s true, but I still do just really like you. 

I like you too. Well, thank you so much for answering my questions Lulu. You’re a credit to babies everywhere.
Thanks mom, it’s nice of you to say so. Oh goodness, is that the time? I’ve go to be going . . .
to sleep.

Well, that’s everybody! I’ll be back around the blog next week with vacation details, answers to reader questions, and more. See you then!


  1. Theresa @ OrdinaryLovely

    I've loved your interviews. They have been immeasurably helpful to me in narrowing down the options for arranged marriages for my own offspring. Once you are stateside again we can start to iron out the details, like do you except copious amounts of next-to-useless crocheted items as the bulk of a dowry, and how comfortable are you matching Lulu to a younger man? We'll talk.
    (For real, these have been lots of fun to read!)

  2. Sophie שרה Golden

    She looks like Betty a lot, doesn't she? Such a joyful baby and the hair, oh, so lovely.

    Thanks for sharing these funny interviews.

  3. Molly

    Tell Lulu hi from Molly and that I miss our awesome conversations from Behold! =D

  4. Jenny Cook

    Wow, that hair! She's got more now than some toddlers I know! And Ben is doing the baby Pilates all the time too. I've loved this series…now, are you going to let everyone in your family ask you an interview question? I'd love to hear what questions kids want to ask their moms about themselves. I LOVED hearing my mom's stories about herself when she was a kid.

  5. Jenny

    she is so cute!

    p.s. my 2 year old was reading this over my shoulder and kept excitedly saying "Evie doll, there's Evie doll!." I guess it's time to learn colors.

  6. Anonymous

    SO adorable! New reader here, I came in just in time for the interviews.. this one was by far my fav!

  7. Anonymous

    Could that baby be any cuter?

  8. Maria

    What a fun interview:). And a superlatively cute baby!

  9. suzie.burlton

    I’ve just been re reading these interviews and getting all weepy! (Those wretched postpartum hormones…)

    Any chance you’ll do an update interview series, all these years later? I’d be especially interested on your older kids’ take on their upbringing as they launch into the world. And double especially Betty – I am such a Betty fangirl, she seems so awesome.

    • Kendra

      Ooh, that’s an interesting idea!

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